Sifting the fact from the fiction of St Patrick

Hail Glorious Saint Patrick, dear Saint of our Isle – and, Patrick, if you are reading the Irish News up in na Flaithis – heaven, you are more than welcome to the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.

Abair le Naomh Bríd go raibh mé ag cur a tuairisce – tell St Bridget I was asking for her.

It is fair to say – hurtful as it is – that St Patrick today is even more popular than the Bluffer.

You can tell that by the number of places and things named after him although if Naomh Pádraig – St Patrick visited all the places that bear his name, he would have been travelling Ireland in a Ferarri-engined chariot to get round them all.

To discover na fíricí – the facts rather than an ficsean – fiction about the dude the Americans call St Patty, the Bluffer came across a great piece in the Teagasc website by Dr Jesko Zimmermann and Dr Rob O’Hara which set out to do the same things find an fhírinne – the truth rather than the finscéalta – legends.

It is likely true that Patrick was taken from his native Britain to work on Sliabh Mis – Slemish Mountain on a zero-hours contract or sclábhaíocht – slavery as it is more commonly known.

However, the plucky proto-saint managed to escape back to pre-Roman Britain but suffered a bout of Stockholm Syndrome 800 years before the Swedish capital’s earliest written mention.

So back he came to cheerlead for Christianity.

Págánaigh a bhí sna hÉireannaigh – the Irish were Pagans, a group of people who today ignoramuses would call “woke” due to their emphasis on the natural world and its spiritual vitality.

But Patrick was having none of the tree-hugging, dreadlocks and raves and turned the benighted bog people into people who were happy to take a collection in church, do without meat on a Friday, say the rosary and support Celtic.

Sabhall is the Irish world for a barn and is now a placename in County Down – Saul – and it is here that bhunaigh Pádraig a chéad eaglais – Patrick founded his first church.

Saul is also said to be the place where Patrick died

Cnoc na Sláine – the Hill of Slane is said to be where Patrick came up with the idea of explaining the concept of the Holy Trinity by using a three-leaved shamrock.

A few years ago the Bluffer and some intrepid chums went to the summit of Cruach Phádraig – Croagh Padraig in County Mayo.

It was a hard slog although he flew past the area’s barefoot ascetics and the view from the top was stunning.

It is here that the bould Patrick banished all of Ireland’s population of nathracha nimhe – snakes, sending them into Clew Bay.

However, as Jesko and Rob point out: “Of course, Ireland never had snakes to banish, but why ruin a good story!”

And that’s why we love Patrick so much. You can say almost anything about him and it is taken as Gospel.

We are a nation of storytellers and today is perfect for meeting up with some friends, listening to some great trad music and shooting the breeze.

Happy St Patrick’s Day.

CÚPLA FOCAL

na Flaithis (na flyheesh) – heaven

Abair le Naomh Bríd go raibh mé ag cur a tuairisce (aber le neeoo breedge gaw roe may eg ker a toorishka) – tell St Bridget I was asking for her

Naomh Pádraig (neeoo paadreeg) – St Patrick

na fíricí (ne feereekee) – the facts

an ficsean (an fikshun) – the fiction

an fhírinne (un eeranya) – the truth

finscéalta (finshkaylta) – legends

Sliabh Mis (shleeoo mish) – Slemish Mountain

sclábhaíocht (sclaoweeakht) – slavery

Págánaigh a bhí sna hÉireannaigh (paageenee a vee sna herinee) – the Irish were Pagans

Sabhall (sawal) – a barn

bhunaigh Pádraig a chéad eaglais (wunee paadreeg a cayd uglish)– Patrick founded his first church

Cnoc na Sláine (cruck na slaanya) – the Hill of Slane

Cruach Phádraig (crooakh fadreeg) – Croagh Padraig

nathracha nimhe (nahraha nyiva) – snakes