Former DOGE Staffer Nicknamed ‘Big Balls’ Bloodied in D.C. Attack

A young former DOGE staffer bloodied in a Washington, D.C. assault over the weekend has been identified as Edward “Big Balls” Coristine … as Donald Trump threatens to federalize the nation’s capital.

Police say the ex-DOGE employee was assaulted by a group of unruly teens at approximately 3 AM Sunday in a D.C. neighborhood, according to a report obtained by TMZ.

Police report a group of 10 juveniles approached the victim and made a comment about taking his car early Sunday. He reportedly got his significant other into the car and turned to the minors to deal with them … which is when they began their brutal attack.

Law enforcement officials note the juveniles scattered when they arrived on scene … but a 15-year-old juvenile male and a 15-year-old juvenile female, of Hyattsville, Maryland, were arrested and charged with Unarmed Carjacking.

A black iPhone 16 valued at $1,000 was also reported stolen during, according to the report.

President Trump was outraged by the incident, declaring in a press briefing and on his Truth Social platform Tuesday that he may consider federalizing D.C. if the city doesn’t quickly “get its act together.”

He also shared a photo of Coristine shirtless and covered in blood on the ground following the assault.

He demanded D.C. change its laws so teens committing such violent crimes can be prosecuted as adults, starting at age 14.

Coristine previously revealed to Fox News he received his “Big Balls” nickname from his LinkedIn user name.

Coristine currently works for the Social Security Administration, according to Politico. He was part of Elon Musk‘s DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency) team that slashed federal funding in the first few months of this administration.