Carl Mullan has long been candid about his family life with wife Aisling and their three children and he’s now spoken out about the expectations placed on parents.
The presenter hosts a morning radio show and although that means he’s home most afternoons he, like many parents, still feels the pressure of juggling everything and credits Aisling with keeping their schedules running smoothly.
‘A lot of my guilt would be, not even from the point of view of, say, not being home with the kids, because I am actually very lucky because I work early mornings and I finish early,’ he told The Baby Tribe podcast.
Carl continued: ‘So compared to someone who does a traditional nine to five, I probably get a lot more time with the kids than people who are commuting and in their cars for like 3 or 4 hours a day.
‘A lot of my guilt would come from Ash (his wife) has to facilitate me a lot because of what I do. So whether it’s traveling or, you know, when I was doing Dancing With The Stars where she just had to pretty much drop everything she was doing outside of the hours of work to facilitate me.
‘That’s where I would feel a bit of guilt because of what I do, you get the kudos or you get the people going “oh, I love your videos” or whatever. But at the end of the day, Aisling does a really important job and she’s worked really hard to get to where she is, and she’s a brilliant nurse.’
Aisling works as a paediatric nurse and Carl told elsewhere in the podcast, which is hosted by neonatologist and paediatrician Afif EL-Khuffash and obstetric anaesthesiologist Anne Doherty, how her training took the pressure off a little when they first became parents.
Casting his mind back to when their eldest child, son Daibhí, was born in 2021, Carl recalled how he was in a state of ‘pure shell shock’ and ‘didn’t feel that instant surge of love.’
Carl stressed that that was ‘okay’ and parents need to make sure they’re not comparing themselves to others on the internet – an important reminder!
He said: ‘It’s really important to say out loud, because I think in general, with parenthood, there’s an awful lot of expectation. And the internet has a huge role to play in this. There’s a lot of expectation in terms of what you’re told you should feel, how the experience should be, particularly for mums.
‘If you don’t feel how the internet tells you you should feel, which is this instant surge of love. A lot of guilt can come with that. And even as a dad, I felt that everyone had said, “oh, it’s the most incredible experience and you’ll never understand love like it”.
‘I think as parents, sometimes we talk about how it feels to become a parent based off our experience now, whereas we don’t kind of rewind back the clock and think, what was that like for me when it just began. It’s pure shell shock. I didn’t feel that instant surge of love. It was okay. Our job here is to just keep this baby alive. I’m blessed. Aisling is a paediatric nurse. So that took some of the pressure off me.’
He added: ‘As long as you’re trying your best, that’s all you can do. And the whole idea of having these false expectations of how you should be a parent because of what you see online.
‘We really need to try and get rid of that because it’s so damaging and it can really take away from the joy of the early stages of parenthood.’
Since Daibhí joined the family, Carl and Aisling have also welcomed their two daughters Éala, who was born in August 2023, and Béibhínn, who was born in January.
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